‘My ex’s porn addiction ruined me’


On today’s show I interviewed Lynn, who contacted us after seeing a post on our Facebook page referring to porn addiction. The joking comments on the post upset her, because she has lived with a porn addict. Lynn’s email is reproduced below, and you can listen back to the interview here.

Hi there,

I just happened to read your post on facebook about porn addiction.

I do have something to weigh in on the matter, but first I want to say how disgusted I am by the comments that listeners are leaving on your facebook post, and that you are allowing it.  This issue can destroy relationships, and to see people saying that they believe that someone is watching porn because the listener is “crap in the sack” is repulsive.

Sex addiction is a real thing.  And with that goes porn addiction.

I was in a relationship for 5 years with a man who was addicted to porn.  He would spend all of his free time watching porn.  We had sex, it wasn’t that we weren’t having sex.  But it was just never enough.  He had to watch porn all the time. He had it downloaded on both of his computers.  he would get up in the middle of the night to watch it.  He would watch it after we had sex.  It made me feel like I was never good enough.  Like I was never pretty enough.  Like I wasn’t enough.  After 5 years, I got out of the relationship, but the damage had been done.  I have had to have counselling and therapy for years after that relationship because of the psychological and emotional damage that his addiction did to me.  

I still struggle with issues because of that relationship.  And they affect my current relationship.  My current partner is amazing, and he is understanding, but my fears and insecurities that stem from a previous relationship that was destroyed by a porn addiction have caused issues in this one.  And it is taking a lot for me to overcome these issues that were caused by my exs porn addiction.

I am saddened and angry that people feel the need to poke fun at this.  Addictions to drugs and alcohol destroy relationships and families every day.  Addictions to other things do as well. And it is not any easier to deal with.

I really hope your listeners cop on.  Someday they may have their lives destroyed by an issue and maybe then they will learn how destructive those kinds of comments can be to people who are actually suffering from these kinds of things, be it personally or who are suffering from dealing with loved one’s issues.

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